It's not what I intended, really it wasn't. Getting wrapped up (actually strangled might be a better word) in life's busyness, barely stopping to catch my breath for the past 3 months, was truly not my intention. Yet here it is, 3 months since we've returned from our trip to Punta Gorda, Belize to bring Camp Creative to the kids, and I've barely taken the time to stop and reflect, let alone compose a response to my experience. While it's no surprise there--I've barely managed to blog on my reflections from any of my times working on Camp Creative (this is the camp's 4th year running)--it doesn't mean that I haven't had some of the best of intentions. Unfortunately, there is a big difference between intentional thinking and intentional living.
We started this art camp in 2012, just weeks before we moved back home to the States. This year was the third time I was able to help run the camp (in person). In a seemingly divine set of circumstances, my husband was able at the last minute to return with me to work and serve as well. Being there together, working as a team, was a very fresh reminder of life back in Belize when we shared that experience as a family full time. It was also a very fresh reminder of the one thing that seemed to be missing from our lives not long after we moved back to the U.S.--intentional living. Where did it go? How could I have possibly let that get away? Was it forgotten about? What I'm doing now is intentional living isn't it? Well, yes and no.
Recently, I was piddling around on the internet and out of curiosity decided to google my name. One of the first things I found was an online article written in October of 2012 (2 months after we moved from Belize) about our experience there. This quote jumped out at me, “Being removed from it [American culture] we saw a lot of changes and ways we lived differently that we want to hold onto, but have learned that it takes a lot more intentional living than maybe we were anticipating,” she said. “You have to decide to do things differently.” That 'she' was me. I said that.
The entire time I was serving in Belize this summer it was as if I could hear God telling me, "get off the hamster wheel, stop spinning your wheels with hardly a destination or purpose." When he means purpose, I don't think he just means the great big grand scheme of things, cause frankly, I think I do a decent job with that stuff already. It's the day to day, moment by moment even, experiences that he's asking to be lived with a purpose.
As much as I hate to admit it, it didn't take all that long after my family's return from Belize in 2012 to find ourselves back on that hamster wheel, spinning around and around forgetting to live each day with purpose. Going with the flow, getting caught up in the dailies of life, is just so darn easy sometimes. As I said in that article, I have to decide to do things differently because it's not just going to happen on its own.
I have a few friends of different backgrounds and faiths that I see doing this--that have a focus and a belief that guides virtually everything about their lives. That's what I want for myself. As a Christian, I feel that my purpose is to love God by loving and serving others. That doesn't just happen on it's own, I have to work to make it happen. Intentional living can only be successful when we try to weave it into all aspects of our life. I know it's possible to live counter culturally--and believe me, living intentionally is counter culture. I just have to resolve to wake up each day and do it myself. And when I falter, resolve to wake up the next day and try to do it all over again. Whenever I find that I'm doing that, sometimes the effort is hard, but the reward is always so great. I feel a greater peace, I have a lot less regrets, and I can some times even see the fruits of my labor (though that is never my reason for living purposefully).
If you're taking the time to read this, it's probably safe to assume that you yourself have great intentions. Now, I'd like to challenge us all to take it up a notch, to really live with purpose, all the time. Give that friend a call that has been feeling depressed. Take a son out to lunch to share some time together. Bring dinner or cookies to the elderly neighbor 2 houses down. Smile at the grumpy guy in the office across the hall. Most importantly, get rid of some 'time suckers' that are not rewarding or fulfilling--we don't need to be running all. the. time. just because it seems like a good idea.
I'm not suggesting that we all go out and try to save the world, or even necessarily that we all head to another country to serve the poor--although that seemed to be what I needed to kick myself into gear. I'm just suggesting that we all put a real effort into our day to day lives. Mother Teresa said "not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love." Let's put great love into what we do and see how the small things make this a better place to live.
Living with intention takes effort, it takes time, but imagine how much better our lives would be, our communities would be, if we would just take the time to do that. Let's stop doing what's in front of us, and start doing what we were truly created for--our purpose.
Peace,
Julie
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