Life is a matter of perspective. We can only see the world through the glasses we've been given. Our upbringing, where we live, who we interact with, all affect how we see the world. Though, I would argue that once in a while our glasses get dirty and it's up to us to make them clean and clear again.
After returning to the US, now nearly 9 months ago, I've realized how much and how easily those glasses can affect how I view the world. A year ago my family and I were living on less money than we are now yet, we were wealthy by our community's standards. In fact, there were times when I would feel embarrassed by my family's apparent wealth. If we needed something, I mean really needed it, we could purchase it. Yet, somehow it amazes me how little we did in fact need when we lived in Belize. I sure do seem to think I need a lot more things now.
Since we've been back I realize how much I've grown accustomed to be surrounded by wealth here. I live in a community in St. Louis that is comprised mainly of middle to lower middle class people. We have a community food pantry about 1 mile down the road. Wealthy? Huh? Middle and lower middle class don't sound wealthy to me.
We are a single income family of 7 surviving on a teacher's salary. Our budget is TIGHT. I look at our bills this month and they just don't match up with our income. I've already found myself back in the routine of feeling "poor." We need a new vacuum cleaner because the used one we recently purchased broke. The check engine light has been on in one of our cars for two weeks now. We're rehabbing our 80 year old bathroom and we've run out of funds to finish it right now. Whoa is me! Tuesday I found myself nearly brought to tears when I saw the fuel light pop up on my car--$75 for a refill. And then as I headed right for the gas station it occurred to me--if I were in Belize and I needed gas for my car but didn't have the cash to fill up what would I do? I'd do what everyone else of the minority of who are blessed to even own a vehicle in Belize would do--I'd shrug my shoulders, pull out my wad of cash and coins that I did have, and fill my tank with a few gallons of gas. End of story, no fretting, move on. There were Belizeans all over town whose car had become a permanent fixture on their lawn simply because they didn't have the cash for gas, insurance, or a small repair that was needed to run the vehicle. But they also didn't worry about it either. And here I am, nearly crying because my car "needs" a fill up and I know I'll be "paying" for it with my credit card.
As Americans, nearly every single one of us are in the top 1% in the world when it comes to wealth. Yes I said top 1%. And even the poorest tier of Americans are still richer than 70% of the world. All we know and all we see is wealth in the U.S. By default, it dirties our perspective of what 'wealth' really is. The glasses we view the world through sometimes trick us into thinking we're seeing clearly. I think, I need to fix my car that's still running, I need to have a new vacuum cleaner, I need to finish rehabbing my bathroom now, and I need to fill up my gas tank because it's on 'E'. I'm slowly (and sometimes stubbornly) beginning to realize that it's my Life Perspective Glasses that have gotten dirty and could use a good cleaning.
What is really necessary to my family's survival and growth is not what I sometimes see as necessary. We need a roof over our heads--check, balanced meals--check, clean water--check, and warm clothes--check. Most other things are a LUXURY. I am not entitled to non-necessities even if I think I am--even if everyone around me has those things that I wish I had to make my life simpler or more comfortable.
I recently read a quote that says, "we call it sacrifice when we go without the things our grandparents never even heard of." How true it is--such different glasses we view the world through than just a few generations ago did.
I don't think it's possible for me to ever view the world without having at least a slightly skewed perspective. I am who I am, I live where I live, and I was raised how I was raised. In the meantime, I'm going to get off my pity pot, give my glasses a good cleaning, and try to live my life like the blessing that it is. That just might mean we'll have to live for a while with a partially finished bathroom (which admittedly, reminds me of "home" in Belize anyway). I'm sure it will also mean that my glasses will need to be cleaned over and over and over and over...but as long as I stop to give them a good cleaning once in a while, I think life will be a lot more clear to me--and I think I'll possess a far greater amount of contentment to boot.
