So Many Questions

     Well, here it is, in just 24 hours I will be landing in Belize City.  After going through customs & paying a few duties for the supplies I brought in, I'll take a taxi over to the bus station where I'll wait 3 hours to catch the "express bus" to Punta Gorda (cause the regular bus is not air conditioned and is a longer, more miserable ride).  After 16 hours of travel, I should arrive safely in Punta Gorda. As you can imagine, Saturday is my least favorite day of the trip.
     I've done this trip solo once before and after living there, I feel pretty comfortable in Belize.  However, there are naturally some anxieties that come with such a lengthy amount of travel.
But, there's a twist:  several weeks ago when we found an extraordinary deal on airfare to Belize, God laid it on someone's heart to cover the cost of a plane ticket.  Since my ticket had already been purchased, and the situation seemed to be right, we moved forward with purchasing airfare for my husband.  Andy will have to travel a day after me and return a day sooner but beyond that, we felt this was a great opportunity for us and more importantly, for the work we do in Belize.
While I know this will be a good thing for our work, it also inevitably adds a new layer to the picture.  3 kids have to be delivered to 2 different camps while 2 kids need childcare for 10 days and all 5 need childcare at the beginning and the end of the trip (from 2 different family members).  Oh and did I mention that currently 1 child is feeling ill?
     There are so many things to worry about.  Will my children be healthy, safe, and get where they need to go in my absence?  I still have packing to finish, am I remembering the essentials, the things I must have that can't be purchased in country?   Travelling to Belize and running a camp can be costly and we currently do not have enough cash in our bank account to cover all the costs of camp & travel.   How are we going to pull this off?  The more I ask these questions, the more anxious I feel.
The solution: stop asking questions!
      It sounds crazy right?  Of course it does but then I am reminded to trust. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."  Prov. 3: 5-6.  A good friend  of mine shared this with me last week and although I try to make this my life's mantra, I still needed to be reminded of it--often.  There are a lot of times in my life that I've chosen the 'least desirable' path by doing not what I want to do, but what I feel called to do.  Things may not have even turned out the way I'd hoped.  Yet in spite of that, God has always worked out the details and goodness and peace have always come from it.
    This situation is no different.  I know that, I just have to remember to listen to that.
     I like to think I'm getting better at that.  I haven't asked those 'worry' questions nearly as much this time & (no shocker here) I feel a lot less anxious this time.  One way or another, it will work out because I'm not in charge.
     In the mean time, we would really appreciate your thoughts and prayers as our entire family makes sacrifices to have our work in Belize be a success this year.
     We look forward to keeping you updated this week as time, and internet access, allow.

p.s. as a shameless plug--we are holding a Thirty One products online fundraiser.  20% of the sales will go towards making Camp Creative a success.  Here's the link if you are interested but the fundraiser sale ends TODAY (6/26):  www.mythirtyone.com/651239/shop/Party/EventDetail/8369176

Back To Belize, Again.

While some of you have still been checking on our blog, we haven't exactly been active in our posts.  Fail.
Anyway, we just wanted to give you a quick update (we'll post more later, we promise).  I (Julie) am going back down to Belize this summer to direct Camp Creative.  This year, a representative from one of the departments at Baylor University contacted me about bringing a service group down to work with us at Camp Creative.  We could not be more happy to be working with this enthusiastic group.  The best part about this, it allows us to expand and grow Camp Creative.  This year, we will be able to bring a mini-camp opportunity to a local children's home, LOL Children's Home, that serves 35 kids, in addition to the kids we normally serve at our day camp.  I've also been asked by the orphanage 'mom' to teach the girls a cake decorating class.  I'm thrilled to give these girls an opportunity to teach them a craft that they can actually use in the future.
I am currently looking for cake decorating supplies, bags, tips, couplers, and icing gel color, to donate to the children's home.  If you have any of those supplies or wish to purchase any to donate, we would be most grateful.  This children's home operates on a tight budget and survives on their own donations so I'm really hoping we can bless them with these supplies.
While I plan to give more information, including ways you can help if you wish to, I wanted to let you know about an opportunity to come down to help.  American Airlines is currently offering a sale on their airfare.  St. Louis rountrip to Belize City is only $382!  That is the cheapest price we've seen since they offered a sale 3 1/2 years ago when we lived there.  If you feel called to help with kids and creativity, we would welcome your help at Camp Creative.  The week of art camp will be June 29-July 3.  I'll be heading down the Saturday before and staying several days afterwards for some much needed "down time."  Those are the dates that I know are on sale but quite possibly, there is some flexibility on the dates at that price.
Think about it, pray about it, and if you feel called to come down, let us know.  If you want to help in any other way, let us know that too.
We're currently exploring some fundraising options for us to help cover the cost of expenses for the camp, as well as travel down there for myself.  We'll let you know where we get with that and post any opportunities on our blog.
Thanks and God bless.

Back to Belize

     Back to Belize!  Well for Julie anyway.  As much as we all dearly miss Punta Gorda--even our 6 year old still regularly asks when he can go back--it just isn't financially feasible for our entire family to return.  One thing that is and has been most important to us is that our efforts down in Belize have a lasting impact.  The art camp we created, Camp Creative, is now in its 3rd year.  As a couple, we decided that it would be a good idea for Julie to return this year to help ensure the program's long term continuity.  And so, she will be departing for Belize on Saturday, June 28th to help with the week long art camp.  

     We've had many people ask "how can I help?"  Currently, there are 3 ways you can help.  First, you could pray for us as we continue to work out the logistics of everything, and of course for safe travel as "mom" leaves home for 10 days.  Secondly, you are more than welcome to contribute financially.  As I'm sure you can imagine, there are many expenses that are involved with providing a camp to as many as 100 kids, while travelling there to do so.  Currently, the best way to make a financial donation would be to make it directly to us as we no longer receive donations through the Jesuits.  

     Lastly, we could use help by donating some of the supplies that Julie plans to take down to Belize to use for her art projects.  She has compiled a rather lengthy "wish list" of items needed to help complete the 13 projects that she has planned for the week.  To find that wish list simply scroll to the top of this page and click on the Wishlist tab.  There you will find a very detailed list of everything we need to help make this camp a success.  If you can contribute in any way, please contact us.  We want to be sure we don't receive 7000 foam stickers from 12 different sources.  You can let us know in the comments section below the wishlist, in the comments section on our facebook page, Kuhnert Family Belize Mission, which is linked on the right of the page, or you can contact Julie directly via email, kuhnertj@hotmail.com.

     With your help, we can make this another year with one of a kind experiences for the children living in Punta Gorda Belize.  Thank you for all the support you have given us so far, no matter how that looks.  We wouldn't be able to keep helping if it weren't for you.

My Glasses Really Could Use a Good Cleaning

Life is a matter of perspective.  We can only see the world through the glasses we've been given.  Our upbringing, where we live, who we interact with, all affect how we see the world.  Though, I would argue that once in a while our glasses get dirty and it's up to us to make them clean and clear again.
After returning to the US, now nearly 9 months ago, I've realized how much and how easily those glasses can affect how I view the world.  A year ago my family and I were living on less money than we are now yet, we were wealthy by our community's standards.  In fact, there were times when I would feel embarrassed by my family's apparent wealth.  If we needed something, I mean really needed it, we could purchase it.  Yet, somehow it amazes me how little we did in fact need when we lived in Belize.  I sure do seem to think I need a lot more things now.
Since we've been back I realize how much I've grown accustomed to be surrounded by wealth here.  I live in a community in St. Louis that is comprised mainly of middle to lower middle class people.  We have a community food pantry about 1 mile down the road.  Wealthy?  Huh?  Middle and lower middle class don't sound wealthy to me.
We are a single income family of 7 surviving on a teacher's salary.  Our budget is TIGHT.  I look at our bills this month and they just don't match up with our income.  I've already found myself back in the routine of feeling "poor."  We need a new vacuum cleaner because the used one we recently purchased broke.  The check engine light has been on in one of our cars for two weeks now.  We're rehabbing our 80 year old bathroom and we've run out of funds to finish it right now.  Whoa is me!  Tuesday I found myself nearly brought to tears when I saw the fuel light pop up on my car--$75 for a refill.  And then as I headed right for the gas station it occurred to me--if I were in Belize and I needed gas for my car but didn't have the cash to fill up what would I do?  I'd do what everyone else of the minority of who are blessed to even own a vehicle in Belize would do--I'd shrug my shoulders, pull out my wad of cash and coins that I did have, and fill my tank with a few gallons of gas.  End of story, no fretting, move on.  There were Belizeans all over town whose car had become a permanent fixture on their lawn simply because they didn't have the cash for gas, insurance, or a small repair that was needed to run the vehicle.  But they also didn't worry about it either.  And here I am, nearly crying because my car "needs" a fill up and I know I'll be "paying" for it with my credit card.
  As Americans, nearly every single one of us are in the top 1% in the world when it comes to wealth.  Yes I said top 1%.  And even the poorest tier of Americans are still richer than 70% of the world.  All we know and all we see is wealth in the U.S.  By default, it dirties our perspective of what 'wealth' really is.  The glasses we view the world through sometimes trick us into thinking we're seeing clearly.  I think, I need to fix my car that's still running, I need to have a new vacuum cleaner, I need to finish rehabbing my bathroom now, and I need to fill up my gas tank because it's on 'E'.  I'm slowly (and sometimes stubbornly) beginning to realize that it's my Life Perspective Glasses that have gotten dirty and could use a good cleaning.
 What is really necessary to my family's survival and growth is not what I sometimes see as necessary.  We need a roof over our heads--check, balanced meals--check, clean water--check, and warm clothes--check.  Most other things are a LUXURY.  I am not entitled to non-necessities even if I think I am--even if everyone around me has those things that I wish I had to make my life simpler or more comfortable.
I recently read a quote that says, "we call it sacrifice when we go without the things our grandparents never even heard of."  How true it is--such different glasses we view the world through than just a few generations ago did.
I don't think it's possible for me to ever view the world without having at least a slightly skewed perspective.  I am who I am, I live where I live, and I was raised how I was raised.  In the meantime, I'm going to get off my pity pot, give my glasses a good cleaning, and try to live my life like the blessing that it is.  That just might mean we'll have to live for a while with a partially finished bathroom (which admittedly, reminds me of "home" in Belize anyway).  I'm sure it will also mean that my glasses will need to be cleaned over and over and over and over...but as long as I stop to give them a good cleaning once in a while, I think life will be a lot more clear to me--and I think I'll possess a far greater amount of contentment to boot.

Paying It Forward

     Do you ever give yourself a pat on the back?  I know I don't, or at least I very rarely do.  Rather, I often spend my time thinking about all the "not good enoughs" in my life:  I'm not active enough, I'm not helpful enough, I'm not thankful enough, I'm not nice enough, I'm not giving enough...you get the idea.  I very rarely give myself credit for the things that I do do because I always see the human weakness in them. Perhaps I brought dinner to a new mom but there are two other new moms I know whom I've neglected to help.  Or I finally sent that long awaited Thank You note but it should've been sent weeks sooner.  I think that's one of the biggest, most crippling things that hangs over my head--my inadequacies that really just make me human.
     I am not an Evangelical in the religious denomination sense of the word but try to live my life in an evangelizing way.  I try to live a life that sets an example to others whom I come in contact with because you never know who and how you are impacting others.  I think of that friend who said those simple words that led me to believe I wasn't parenting so terribly bad.  Or that person at the store whose smile was so big, I could see her joy radiating right into my own very being.  It's those things I try to remember when I go about my own daily ways.  I try to remember that although I may often see myself and all my imperfections, I'm still exactly who God made me to be.
     Tuesday was one of those rare occurances where I was confronted with that--while I'm nothing special, God proved that He still uses me just the same.  Back track two weeks and I was running around frantically trying to put together a care package for dear friends of ours who are missionaries in Belize.  I was wrapped up in the busyness of the season and kicking myself for not sending the package sooner so as to assure it would arrive in time for Christmas.  I ran into a friend of mine at a store and was telling her about the package I was trying to fill for shipment asap.  We then shared pleasantries and went our separate ways.  I hadn't thought much of it but aah, that's when God steps in.  Inspired by my continual (albeit at times "not enough") efforts to help those in Belize, my friend then went home and nominated me for a local news program's Pay It Forward segment.  The next thing I know, on Tuesday a news crew shows up at my door to hand me $500 to "pay it forward" in Belize!  I'm elated by all the possibilities that this money can be used for.  And really, I could not think of a better Christmas present but somehow I still allowed negativity to creep in.
     Obviously, I was very surprised by this attention, especially when I don't feel as though I deserve it.  But then again, I don't.  After all, it's not about me anyway and really, I've never viewed it as such. After they left, in spite of the fact that this news station found our efforts worthy enough to encourage, I kept thinking about all the "not enoughs".  I hadn't gotten service groups committed to delivering supplies for me fast enough, I hadn't mailed checks soon enough, I hadn't touched base with my contacts in Belize often enough. Had I really just allowed this great blessing to somehow feel like a failure in my own eyes??
      And then shortly after the news crew left I opened my mail and God had a little message for me.  In it was a Thank You note from a friend telling me how touched beyond words she was by a gift bag of goodies I'd left her a week back. Again, it was just something I thought I should've done sooner, but apparently did at just the right time.  I did it because a friend had given me the same bag labelled "Mom's Break" filled with different goodies and touched by that, I wanted to do the same to someone else.  Here I was already paying it forward and hadn't even acknowledged it.  Someone touched me, had an effect on me, and I in turn, touched someone else, had an effect on them, all without fully realizing--until that moment that is.
     It's the littlest things we do that set us apart from everyone else.  We are, or can be, a living example of God's love to others:  in our smile, in the words we speak, in the way we help others, and often times in the most discreet of ways.  We never know when God will use our actions to inspire or encourage others but let's try to live our lives in a way that leaves us open to that.  I'm nothing special, I'm not holier than though, I'm just a regular mom and wife who chugs away at daily life trying to set an example for others and often times failing in my actions.  That's ok.  God doesn't want me to be perfect, He knows I can't be but I tend to believe that He delights in our good works, even the simplest ones and He enjoys using us to bless others.  Mother Teresa is believed to have said, "we can do no great things, only small things with great love."  Let's stop allowing ourselves to be disabled by all the "not good enoughs" in our life and choose to live each moment of each day as an example of God's love.  You never know when or how you will impact others whom you come in contact with and you never know how that will in turn, impact others even.  So instead of reaching for a bar set too high, I'm going to keep trying my best to be the best example I can be.  Not great, not perfect, but hopefully an example that God can be proud of.  Because, I never know when, or how I will impact someone next.  And in the meantime, I will try to give myself this one time, a pat on the back.
     Thank you God for using me in ways I hadn't even realized.

P.S. if you are interested in viewing my story on the news, tune in to St. Louis' Fox 2 news on Thursday Dec. 27 at about 9:55 pm.
Here's the link to the story: http://fox2now.com/2012/12/27/pay-it-forward-kuhnert-family/

Somethin' to talk about

     We will be giving our first two presentations on our experience in Belize during October.  The first will take place at St. Dominic Savio church in Affton, MO on Sunday, Oct. 21 after the 10:30 am service in the church cafeteria (Feuerbacher Hall).  The second talk will take place on Wednesday, October 24 at 7pm again at St. Dominic Savio in Affton in the parish hall.  Both talks are open to everyone who wishes to come hear about our experience from the past year.
     Due to some obvious time constraints, we would love more than anything to focus on what it is that you would like to hear about.  If you have any questions or specific topics that you would like to see addressed please let us know.  Feel free to post a comment or you may email us directly.
     In the meantime, if you would like to have us present to your group, church, or organization, we are currently scheduling dates.  We are really excited about getting the opportunity to share with you on the amazing year we spent serving the poor in Belize.

You Gonna Eat That? Part 3

So now that we've touched on shopping and cooking in Belize let's talk about my favorite subject:  eating in Belize.  While admittedly, Belize isn't exactly the culinary mecca that it's northern neighbor, Mexico is, that doesn't detract from the fact that Belize has some really amazing dishes all its own.

     Latin American in location, yet Caribbean in much of its influence, Belize has put together its own meal time staples that rarely leave a stomach wanting for more.  It's almost as if its plates are a marriage of Latino and Caribbean, yet intermingled with some Indian influence (brought on by the Indians who arrived as indentured servants some 150 years ago).

     The absolute number one most popular dish in Belize, one that can be found available at nearly every party gathering, every restaurant, every market food stall, and on many weekly dinner/lunch tables is stewed chicken and rice and beans or sometimes beans and rice--the latter different than the former (and cole slaw on the side if you really want to get technical).  And if you're lucky, you'll find it served with one or two slices of fried plantain, yum yum.  There's just something about this dish that our family loves and whenever we feel like we need some true comfort food, we almost always cook up a batch of it.  In fact, when we returned back to the states, stewed chicken was the very first meal that I cooked our family.

     Chicken, being the most popular meat served in Belize, is also excellent served as curry chicken, BBQ chicken, chicken terkari, escabeche and fried chicken.  The best part about these dishes is that they can be found at any number of local restaurants for anywhere between $2.50 and $5 for a full meal, except for BBQ chicken which can usually be picked up by any number of roadside vendors on Saturdays for no more than $3 a plate.  

     But while chicken is the most popular dish, there are also many other great culinary delights that we enjoyed common to Belize.  Over the months we had opportunities to try fish such as jewfish & snook, gibnut (a delicious large rodent), armadillo, iguana (known locally as bamboo chicken), crab stew (made with the local crabs that run around the streets during rainy season), hudut (a garifuna stew with fish and a coconut milk broth and mashed plantains on the side) and one of my all time favorite dishes in the world--cohune cabbage (no cabbage involved).  

Crab stew made from local land crabs

Panades w/cabbage relish,
cohune cabbage & tortillas

     Every so often a local Mayan will come by, selling bags of cut cohune or even an entire "log" of cohune for about $5.  Cohune is a type of palm tree common to the area and by cutting down the tree and removing the heart you've got the basis for cohune cabbage--think hearts of palm but in large quantities.  The main spices are tumeric (locally known as yellow ginger) along with salt and pepper.  The cohune gets chopped up and boiled with a sauteed onion and spiced.  It's often cooked with chicken pieces and always served over rice.  Surprisingly simple, I find the dish to be nothing short of spectacular and I made it whenever I could get my hands on some cohune.

     One of my absolute favorite things about living in Belize are the umpteen different adults and kids who walk or ride around selling different goodies door to door:  ice cream cones, bread buns, creole bread (similar in flavor to Hawaiian bread), johnny cakes, meat pies, coconut tarts, "fudge" (a gooey conglomeration of sesame seeds, chocolate and who knows what else), sticky buns, tamales (complete with whole chicken parts as filling), panades (fish, beans, or chicken style empanada), corn tortillas, and our absolute favorite--corn fritters.  All averaging about 50 cents a piece or less.  A lot of times moms would send their children out to sell their homemade goodies.  As much as possible, we would try to buy whatever the kids were selling because I knew that most times, the children could not come home until all of their items were sold.  It's no fun seeing a 10 year old out in the dark begging people to buy his last 4 buns so he could go home.  Consequently, kids loved coming up to our door to sell us mom's baked goods and we loved trying the new things they had to offer.  

     Belizeans use a handful of common spices, at least one of which can be found as a basis for nearly every dish cooked there. Recardo (what you may know as adobo) is a very common seasoning added to dishes along with curry powder, tumeric, chicken bouillon, ginger and coconut milk, all of which I learned to appreciate and administer accordingly to the appropriate dishes.  Oregano is used often in whole dried leaf form along with cilantro and culatnro (cilantro's flavorful and easy to cook with cousin).  Surprisingly, most Belizean dishes are not spicy--though habaneros are extremely common here and hot sauce is more common than ketchup--it's served on pretty much everything.  

Custard apple (tastes like a plum)

one of the many varieties of bananas

   Living so close to the tropical rain forest, fruits abound here.  Between the 7 of us, I would say we've tried more new fruits (and veggies) here than varieties we'd previously tasted in our past years combined.  Some were delicious additions to our palate such as custard apples, cacao pods, breadfuit (a starchy fruit similar in flavor to a potato), bilimbi (made into juice) and the multitude of banana varieties.  Many others, well, let's just say, we're happy to leave those in Belize.  I think that what I found to be most surprising is that there are so many local fruits available that not even all Belizeans are familiar with every variety, plus, our children could always be seen munching on a new fruit that a friend grabbed for them from a tree in their yard.

cashew fruit (the nut is seen encased
on top left fruit) this was one fruit we
did not care for

 

cacao pod:  you can eat the
white membrane around the
 cocoa beans

  Being that there are so many different cultures here in Belize, the foods reflect that.  The Mayans may offer cacao drink to a guest while the Garifuna people would probably serve cassava bread.  Each ethnic group has a few foods that are unique to them.  But, the different cultures serve up a lot of the same foods as well, with just slight variations in the spicing.  While the Belizean menu isn't as extensive as a foodie such as myself might hope for, there never seemed to be a loss of opportunities to try something new.  I could probably write an entire blog on each food group and the foods available in Belize. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed learning about a few of the different foods available in our host country and find yourself encouraged to both want to try perhaps something new and appreciate some of the amazing varieties that we do have available in the US.